I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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