epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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