Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
