the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize