Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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