i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Even my vagina gasped.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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