you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
