I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
