Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Randomize
