sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Randomize
