This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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