at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
