O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Two words: blizzard sex
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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