I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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