You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
