Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
