I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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