I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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