Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
