no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
