my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
