How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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