At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
