Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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