I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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