ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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