is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I booty called her while she was in labor.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
My feet surprised me
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
