Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
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