who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Drake has all the answers
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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