Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Gay?
German.
Pity.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
