My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
