we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
