that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
