so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
