that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
