the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
