In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize