He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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