one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
he was CRYING into my vagina
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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