Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
you are never too drunk for berry picking
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
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