Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
