I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
pray to the hookup gods
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
