There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
