I've blown a few things in my day
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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