just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I was not drunk enough for that final.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
