Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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