Well douche your snatch and let's go!
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
