Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize