Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Small penises have feelings too.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
