Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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