i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
