So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
