PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
