I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
