My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
