There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
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