Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
