Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
