She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
It's Friday. Sex?
You smell like stripper and shame
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
