So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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