Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Randomize
