I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
