McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Vodka?
Forever.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
