Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
